Best Debate About a Mall Any of Us will Likely Ever See
In Salt Lake City, the lavish City Creek Center opened on March 22 again causing an explosion of opinion in the Bloggernacle, due to the fact that it is owned in part by the LDS Church and cost roughly $5 bajillion worth of the widow’s mite to build. Detractors called it the Anti-Christ of Shopping Malls (Retractable Roof/Fake Creek Division) and supporters insisted it was the pure manifestation of God’s Will on Earth. The unaware proletariat streamed in happily to look at things they couldn’t afford, and all the cool stores ditched Gateway to hang out with the popular new kid.
Six blind elephants were discussing what men were like.
After arguing they decided to find one and determine what
it was like by direct experience.
The first blind elephant felt the man and declared –
“Men are flat.”
After all the blind elephants felt the man, they agreed.
There’s zulu, zone, zara, zero, zuerich, tata, tax and tattoo,
Gay, grocery, gripe, gratis, graphics, gucci, paris, porn, payu,
And persiangulf, party, training, kosher, lawyer and ksb,
Carinsurance, bloomberg, blue, blog, book, trust, actor, and attorney.
These are but a small fraction of submissions far from frugal,
And most will be an utter waste ’cause everyone is using Google.
The US Patent and Trademark Office has been forced to halt the issuing of new patents after being sued for violation of patent number #4608919, “System and Method For Granting Limited Monopolies On Inventions.”
In a misguided attempt to stifle anonymous speech while “preserving the culture” of the service, the popular social site Reddit recently announced it would institute a “real names only” policy that only allows user to select the name Chuck Norris. While we applaud their ingenuity in avoiding the pitfalls other sites have encountered in determining what does or doesn’t look like a “real” name, we remain concerned over the closure of another venue for pseudonymous speech.
The leaked draft of the Trans-Pacific Partnership has not been confirmed by the negotiating parties, but a highly-placed source claims to have overheard the US Trade Representative saying, “Who wouldn’t want to snuggle with a puppy while watching their pirated copy of Season 1 Game of Thrones?”
But some of course are fools all the time.